Posts Tagged ‘uncertainty’

“prism in tumult”
written on 9.28.16

i live somewhere in between
between lips exhaling hope
and eyes that may or may not
be able to distinguish dreams from reality
a beautiful obscurity both graceful and confusing

i see the salvation of a smile
with the heartache of falling short
the promise of the future
with the pain of not adding up

the glow from the castle
promise, hope within
but walls that keep me out
the view of a lifetime
the doubts of getting in

the stillness of my head on her chest
the pressure of life weighing down
the joy of my arms around her
while the bills are piling up
she’s a prism in a tumultuous sky

and i can’t say that i’m unhappy
i just want to give her better
i just want to make the world better
the beauty of a rose
without the pain of the thorns

i’m smart enough to know
life is about the give and take
i’d be happy to trade in the beauty and the fortune
for an eternity with you

“sand castle”
written on 4.21.16

like a child in a sandbox
shifting sand to create my dreams
but love isn’t quite as simple to build
as we age the castle grows taller
life’s complexity causing the waves to grow larger
threatening to topple my sand castle

i wish love was as easy as saying i need you
but the older we get
the more of our puzzle pieces we find
the harder others become to fit the missing holes
so i stare at a picture that may never be complete

so in my sandbox i built a mansion
every floor built closer to my dreams
but without you i have no foundation
and the emptiness’s waves always threatening
to wash away all my hopes and dreams

so maybe before the sun sets
before the stars appear out of reach
i’ll find you in this place
and we’ll sit here on the beach
and let the sand wrap around our feet

written on 4.13.16

i know you couldn’t help this
like an ice cube left outside
your passion melted away
and when you spiraled into the darkness
i offered you a lifeline
but couldn’t let you consume me

the fading of your headlights
narcotics leading to apathy
not nearly as bright as the sunrise in front of me
sometimes when i think hard i can still see the old you
but that dream so faint as i drive forward

this didn’t play out as i imagined
nothing like the silver screen
but this life is still so beautiful
you just have to adapt to the detours

i can feel the second hand ticking
reminding me of so much i need to do
i hope you don’t think this was easy
like the beauty of a cut rose withering
i just needed to push forward

i hope the future has so much to offer you
that you find the light and rebuild yourself
this life is still so beautiful
you just have to chase your dreams

“the end”
written on 3.2.16

a line drawn in the sand
blurred by winds of frustration and the unknown
i witnessed our bright future dim to night
and lost grasp of your loving hand

a downward spiral consuming us
we both turned to medication
our life raft really a sinking ship
a fairytale crumbling in front of us

we moved our lips and made small talk
went through the motions and played the part
ignoring the depth led to a bleeding heart
and now my love has all bled out

and we both could point a finger
raise our voice and make verbal jabs
but that won’t bring us back
’cause we self-destructed
and now there’s nothing but aftermath

tied together by a promise
hope of a better life
but I no longer see you as my wife
too many years of heartache and strife
the end of everything wrong or right

“have to wait”
completed on 2.28.16

dreams, passion, the future hazy
one moment you’ve found home
then you’re stumbling in roam
a world of withering daisies

so maybe i’ve found hope
or just slipped to the end of my rope
when i see the tear slip down your cheek
i can’t stand to see you weak

we’ve cried in pain
felt emptiness and like giving up
but i’ll push life into your vein
save you from future heartache

you and i’ve felt alone
something we can’t overcome by phone
but i don’t mind the wait
’cause my heart won’t let me forget the date
that you brought joy back into my life

i’ll never tell you what to do
always love you for you
i won’t ever get in your way
’cause i’ll never forget the day
that you brought joy back into my life


Posted: January 30, 2016 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , , ,

completed on 01.29.16

sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water
the choice of obscurity over me
focusing on their pride
while i struggled to survive

the worst excuse that i could see
’cause this isn’t how a family should be
torn between anger and love
an emptiness i can’t get rid of

so i’ve washed away the stains
tried to sweep away the pains
unearth the purpose for this life
to prevent living an empty dream

i’ve stumbled for so long
felt lost more than i’ve been found
an aftermath that doesn’t make sense
unclear who’s on my side of the fence

i need love to light the stars
so i can find my way back home
need you as my compass so i don’t roam
only change can slowly mend these scars

“Couldn’t Say”

Posted: April 16, 2012 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , ,

“Couldn’t Say”
completed on 4.15.12

you’ll never know
i see you turn your head
but can’t say what’s on my mind
i feel your breeze as you walk past
and now you’re gone
and i lost my chance
you’ll always be a mystery
because i couldn’t bring myself to say

you’re beautiful
if you’re the same inside
then you’ll really blow my mind
so please be kind
and tell me everything on your mind

i know i’d be at my best
with your head upon my chest
i miss the rush of being in love
knowing i’m on your mind
not feeling left behind
we weren’t meant to be alone
but i always get stuck that way
because i couldn’t bring myself to say

you’re beautiful
if you’re the same inside
then you’ll really blow my mind
so please be kind
and let me join you by your side

“Left You”

Posted: February 5, 2012 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , ,

“Left You”
written on 1.31.12

what if i never left you
what if i never walked away
we both say it happened for a reason
but what if we say we’re happy
’cause that’s just what you say

what if i would have said this
would it have changed that
if i held you that time
instead of holding my pride
maybe you would still be mine

i’ll pretend that i’m ok
that my life was supposed to be this way
but when i look back
i can’t help but think that
things will never be the same

i hope i never stop your dreaming
that i never got in your way
i hope you always find the rainbow
even without me being your light

“At My Door”

Posted: December 16, 2011 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , ,

“At My Door”
written on 12.15.11

at my own front door
but it won’t open for me
’cause it’s locked
and it seems that you’re my key

i should know better by now
then to allow love to keep me out
but my heart won’t beat without
knowing if she’ll come about

i gave up on love long ago
strung along for far too long
decided to just let go
tired of settling for only so-so

but then your hazel eyes
and warm smile
made me feel butterflies
pictured us walking down the aisle

but then i blink
not sure that you care
guess i have to rethink
if this was just a one-sided love affair

at my own front door
not sure if it will unlock
i’ll be in shock
until i know if our hearts will interlock


Posted: November 25, 2011 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , ,

written on 11.24.11

i’m almost 28 and i can’t stand this strife
i pictured my future wife
expected more out of my life
thought i would accomplish so much more
didn’t expect to have to guess at the door

all i want to feel free
but i’m not sure what that means to me
i can’t figure out who to be
it’s not in any book
or anywhere i seem to look

i feel trapped inside a cage
feel so much older than my age
if i ever want to find the key
i need to find the happiness inside me
start dreaming of who i will be

i need someone who has heart
appreciates life and sees it as moving art
i love when you open up to me
that’s how we were meant to be
love as immovable as a tree

my smile is the key to my soul
happiness is not my only goal
i want to burn so bright
but sometimes it takes all my might
to try to be their light

i want to wrap myself in your love
fly free like a dove
i admire all the lives that you’ve reached
all the hearts that you’ve breached
but you still have so much more to teach