Posts Tagged ‘frustration’

“Midnight Sea”
completed on 4.18.17

waves crash down on you
your apathy pouring down
sand trickling down your hour glass
burying you deeper with your every move

i throw you rope after rope for support
desperate to be your lifeline to give you hope
but you’re too smashed to reach out
my support fraying and wearing out

i wish my words were enough to guide you
to steer you through life’s deepest seas and tragedies
but my attempts just seem to evaporate
the light and mist not quite strong enough

my vow just not steady enough
to be the wind to steer your sails
you’re stubborn rudder failing to navigate the sea
stranded in shallow water with your compass spinning relentlessly

if only my faith had enough weight
to force your needle to point north
if only i could part the darkest clouds
raining down over you

and you’ve made so many empty promises
the weight of your words like anchors
dragging you to the depth of the sea
how much oxygen do you have left to go?

“prism in tumult”
written on 9.28.16

i live somewhere in between
between lips exhaling hope
and eyes that may or may not
be able to distinguish dreams from reality
a beautiful obscurity both graceful and confusing

i see the salvation of a smile
with the heartache of falling short
the promise of the future
with the pain of not adding up

the glow from the castle
promise, hope within
but walls that keep me out
the view of a lifetime
the doubts of getting in

the stillness of my head on her chest
the pressure of life weighing down
the joy of my arms around her
while the bills are piling up
she’s a prism in a tumultuous sky

and i can’t say that i’m unhappy
i just want to give her better
i just want to make the world better
the beauty of a rose
without the pain of the thorns

i’m smart enough to know
life is about the give and take
i’d be happy to trade in the beauty and the fortune
for an eternity with you

written on 4.13.16

i know you couldn’t help this
like an ice cube left outside
your passion melted away
and when you spiraled into the darkness
i offered you a lifeline
but couldn’t let you consume me

the fading of your headlights
narcotics leading to apathy
not nearly as bright as the sunrise in front of me
sometimes when i think hard i can still see the old you
but that dream so faint as i drive forward

this didn’t play out as i imagined
nothing like the silver screen
but this life is still so beautiful
you just have to adapt to the detours

i can feel the second hand ticking
reminding me of so much i need to do
i hope you don’t think this was easy
like the beauty of a cut rose withering
i just needed to push forward

i hope the future has so much to offer you
that you find the light and rebuild yourself
this life is still so beautiful
you just have to chase your dreams

“the end”
written on 3.2.16

a line drawn in the sand
blurred by winds of frustration and the unknown
i witnessed our bright future dim to night
and lost grasp of your loving hand

a downward spiral consuming us
we both turned to medication
our life raft really a sinking ship
a fairytale crumbling in front of us

we moved our lips and made small talk
went through the motions and played the part
ignoring the depth led to a bleeding heart
and now my love has all bled out

and we both could point a finger
raise our voice and make verbal jabs
but that won’t bring us back
’cause we self-destructed
and now there’s nothing but aftermath

tied together by a promise
hope of a better life
but I no longer see you as my wife
too many years of heartache and strife
the end of everything wrong or right


Posted: January 30, 2016 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , , , ,

completed on 01.29.16

sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water
the choice of obscurity over me
focusing on their pride
while i struggled to survive

the worst excuse that i could see
’cause this isn’t how a family should be
torn between anger and love
an emptiness i can’t get rid of

so i’ve washed away the stains
tried to sweep away the pains
unearth the purpose for this life
to prevent living an empty dream

i’ve stumbled for so long
felt lost more than i’ve been found
an aftermath that doesn’t make sense
unclear who’s on my side of the fence

i need love to light the stars
so i can find my way back home
need you as my compass so i don’t roam
only change can slowly mend these scars

“Invisible Heart”
written on 3/13/13

i open the valves to my heart
to let my love openly flow out
to shower you with a love
more intense than you’ve ever felt of

my heart drawn to you
unrequieted; a vein cut through
all my dreams of us in doubt
pain and frustration seeping out

my hope fading in despair
oblivious to how much i care
washed out by the drums of you
marching to your own heartbeat

i try so hard
to get you to lower your guard
all i want is to show you love
not be something you dispose of

you don’t see how much i care
on my knees without a prayer
you’re unphased when our eyes meet
it’s why i can’t get back on my feet

i’d do anything for you
for you to realize this love is true
but this is all going to fall through
’cause i’m not the one you care to pursue


Posted: July 9, 2010 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , ,

completed on 7/9/10

i can feel the seconds slipping by
watch the world pass me by
watch my dreams crumble away
sometimes i can’t shoot for the moon
because i’m not sure you’ll catch me

all i want is to follow my dreams
the only reward comes from walking the tightrope
but i’m on the sidewalk
taking baby steps toward mediocrity

my frustration’s boiling over
i vowed to follow my dreams
but i’m tripping on everything
it makes me want to scream

i’m tumbling like a bird with clipped wings
crash and burn to a future of could have been’s
if only tears could wash away
all the things that make me scared
then i could find the things that set me free


Posted: February 14, 2010 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , ,

written on 2/13/10

i can’t stand the repetition
of the gears turning endlessly
smash the clock against the wall to stop the hands’ rotation
’cause i’m scared to death of being ordinary

i don’t want the universal parts
or fit in all the slots
i can’t tick to everyone else’s beat without feeling incomplete
i need to feel unique

i’ve set my hands to turn counter-clockwise
so that life won’t feel routine
you may not understand my timing
but that’s what makes me me

you can stare at my imperfections
or feel the pulse of my heartbeat
you can judge me on my frame
or study what’s underneath

“Facing West”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , ,

“Facing West”

i’m coughing and choking, gasping for air
office is smoking, my lungs are buring
walls are caving in
i’d pull the lever, sound the sirens to wash it all away
but the ladder’s already too slick to climb

hallways with locked doors
others too hot to touch
all my worries and agitations turn into kerosene
spreading vapors and flames all around me
if there is any way out
there’s too much smoke to see

break the window, jump from suffocation
hope there’s something to break my fall
i hear the fire trucks behind me
see the rubble in the rear view
the dust dissipates around me
and in the aftermath i realize

it’s time to shed my skin
rise from the ashes and open up
make the choices to forge a better me

“Vapors and Conversations”
completed on 8/31/09

i guess i shine too bright for you
’cause i burn with an intensity so great
i felt you evaporate
the fog is clouding up my heart
as i mourn the death of you and me

i used to believe the sun was rising
i could feel your warmth all around me
but now i shake in the chill of the night
with the fear of you nowhere in sight

i’m not angry you let me fall from the heavens
i’m just disappointed at the stillness of the night
everyone deserves some form of closure
’cause it stings like hell to not know your mistakes

with the ecstasy of new love
comes the ends we must endure
it’s what makes the other
all the more intense