Posts Tagged ‘emptiness’

“To the Bottom and Back”
completed on 2.11.13

i see the shock of losing her
in every destructive choice i made
everything i believed in bleeding out
a wounded heart desperate to heal

i drowned out every symptom
hoped the thrill of a new love
would wash out a loss i could not bear
embedded interest in their eyes
romanticized and always untrue

i cut corners, i got lost
i let my soul pay the cost
i didn’t let my heart pause
to deal with the underlying cause

emptiness expanded over
a tower’s shaky base
settled for any pieces close to me
forced fits fighting to stay upright

i cut corners, i got lost
i let my heart pay the cost
now that i survived the storm cloud
it’s finally time to make her proud

“Left Behind”

Posted: May 10, 2012 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , ,

“Left Behind”
written on 5.9.12

i see a couple on a bench
hands intertwined
while the only thing i hold
is fading memories that can’t shake the cold

i see them on the bench
warmth and laughter
close lips and starry eyes
their love lighting up the skies

i run towards that light
see something that would be so bright
but you’re always just out of reach
leaving me so empty underneath

i reach for your hand
to pull me from an icy current i can hardly stand
but you’re not there
at times it’s too much to bear

i see the moment come and go
each time i’m left behind
i watch you smile, feel your glow
but then am left buried in the snow

can’t i find the one that’s mine
the one who makes me shine
i want to burn bright with all my might
but i need your love to feel alright

“Cynthia”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , , , ,

“Cynthia”
completed on 9/19/09

i look at photos of you
and feel my heart deteriorate
the volume of music and alcohol
can’t conceal the pain suffocating my heart

being on my own isn’t what it’s cracked up to be
i would trade my freedom for you anytime
i’m crippled on my own
i just wish i could rewind time

i’m just a quarter of what i used to be
without you here with me
how the hell am  i supposed to be
the man i dreamed to be?

the sun will never rise the way it’s supposed to be
the universe is on it’s side
without you, where is my guide?

“Vapors and Conversations”
completed on 8/31/09

i guess i shine too bright for you
’cause i burn with an intensity so great
i felt you evaporate
the fog is clouding up my heart
as i mourn the death of you and me

i used to believe the sun was rising
i could feel your warmth all around me
but now i shake in the chill of the night
with the fear of you nowhere in sight

i’m not angry you let me fall from the heavens
i’m just disappointed at the stillness of the night
everyone deserves some form of closure
’cause it stings like hell to not know your mistakes

with the ecstasy of new love
comes the ends we must endure
it’s what makes the other
all the more intense

“The Result of her Despair”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: , ,

“The Result of her Despair”
written on 2/26/09

i am startled shortly after midnight
though i already know who is there
i feel the tension, heavy in the phone lines
her tone screams frustration, no optimism at all
now i know the hammer’s coming down

i’ve always felt love conquers all
but now i know that’s untrue
love is such a gentle force
that despair can stomp it out

we had every dream come true
we never read a map ’cause we never could get lost
destination beautiful as long as we traveled side by side
we couldn’t have planned a sweeter route

but when you live with your guard down
sometimes the darkest demons strike
distance and stress stabbed her heart
she’s trying so hard but her heart is bleeding out

i’m scrambling to her rescue
but my words aren’t strong enough sutures
i squeeze her hand but she’s so cold
her love is failing fast
i wish my love could save her
but our blood type’s not the same

now my worst fears have taken her
leaving me all alone with shattered dreams of what could have been
and crumbling things of what used to be
just like my appeal

she’ll move on
to a brand new heart
to a better life
and i’ll move on
with an aching heart
to an uncertain life
but to a heart i know will heal

“Domino Effect”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: ,

“Domino Effect”
written on 10/5/09

she crushed my heart with these simple words:
‘it’s over, i don’t feel the same anymore’
at that moment a piece of my heart was lost forever
in that earth-shattering instant i felt my heart stop
the traffic on the street froze
the clock didn’t tick
and every person in sight lost all their motion

i thought i moved on
but three girlfriends later the feelings have never been the same at the first
what if  i will never be able to love the same way?
what if this becomes a cycle after your first love:
that we become jigsaw puzzles containing missing pieces
unable to give the next person all of your heart
how do you prevent the broken-hearted from stopping to love unconditionally?

i want to share the cure to avert this domino effect
but i don’t have a clue how to make the antidote
will it take your soul mate to complete your puzzle?
how do you get over your first love?
i’m dying to know but i don’t have the answer
the only thing i’m sure of is that i want these missing pieces back

“Love and Emptiness”

Posted: November 7, 2009 in Lyrics, Poem
Tags: ,

“Love and Emptiness”
written on 10/3/06

“paint me a love song”
but the colors aren’t right
the sadness is smearing what love really is
with all of my emptiness
i can see only black and white

like a used battery i’m not what i used to be
i’m missing that spark that charged my personality
i swore to never let my spirits become broken
but there’s no greater distance than between love and emptiness

when all of your friends have found someone special
it’s just one more reminder thrown in your face
even the brightest lamp slowly burns out
when there’s no one there to take care of the flame

i want to fight off the wind on my own
there really shouldn’t be any problem with being alone
but secretly i pray that a beautiful girl
will rekindle my flame before the wick burns out

“Just a little bit of baggage”

i collapse in front of this rundown hotel
a bleeding heart and a worn out soul
you see, it feels as if there is not enough air to breathe
and if you knew everything that has happened to me
then you would see why I am holding on to

just a little bit of baggage
just a few shades of loneliness
just a few hats that can’t hide this troubled mind

the bellman grabs me by my worn-thin shirt
and asks what the hell is the matter with me
i struggle to say so i hold out a note which says
my mother is gone and my brother has left
leaving an empty soul and a suitcase full of

just a little bit of baggage
just a few shades of loneliness
just a few hats that can’t hide this troubled mind
just a few socks of memories i can’t let go

the bellman says ‘let me give you a hand’
but i decline, ‘i can make it on my own’
i won’t let go of this heavy case
but even if i had the strength my friends are too many towns away
so that is why i cling to

just a little bit of baggage
just a few shoes not knowing where to go
just a few pants of wishing i could turn back time

and that is why i must try to walk on by…