transient

Michael and Nichie, thank you so much for your kindness, warmth, friendship, and for graciously opening up your house to me! I am beyond grateful for having you in my life and how you treat me as family. This trip has been so spiritually and emotionally uplifting in so many ways – from listening to Chris Tomlin at Red Rocks to seeing all of God’s beautiful artwork in nature to being a part of a church and watching you jam out on drums (one of your passions) to meaningful songs – I am so glad and blessed by God to experience so much with both of you. As you already know, [one of] my favorite ways to feel closer to God is through music and being in nature – so I just had to get one solo trip into the foothills before returning to my beautiful daughter…and boy was I not disappointed! Surrounded in nature by His beauty and Christian music cranking through my headphones, I always find such a powerful/transcending peace and I never feel alone. Chris Tomlin said “blessings upon blessings upon blessings” and he was/is so correct. I have found with my “compass” pointed to God (my focus in the last two years after getting sick and ending up in the ICU for a bit) that God showers me in His love and gifts –> He always has had me in His hands, I just had to stop being a prodigal son and truly start listening. So I went on this hike to find a pretty – the most beautiful – rock I could find for my daughter. I threw on my headphones and just soaked in the beauty (the warm sunshine, the beautiful mountains, trees, rocks…everything) and listened to my favorite musicians (Crowder, Taya, We the Kingdom, Richlin, etc.).

I found what I thought was the most beautiful rock for Aubree: it was sparkly, white, and big enough where I had to scrape around it to loosen it enough to get out of the dirt. I was so happy and felt so accomplished. I continued on my hike, content, when a few lines from “Defender” by the UPPERROOM stuck out when I heard it: “You know before I do / Where my heart can seek to find Your truth / Your mercy is the shade I’m living in / You restore my faith and hope again…so much better Your way.” So I continued climbing higher and enjoying the praise music when my eyes caught sight of the most beautiful and unique rock I have ever seen (seriously) – just laying a little ways “off the path.” Not wanting to be greedy, I returned the original rock I had selected for my daughter and was stunned that the rock I had originally picked for Aubree (still beautiful and shiny) was nowhere nearly as beautiful as the rock God eventually led me to on this hike…and it was effortless to pick up! I don’t question God’s love or existence even for one second, because even through trials such as getting sick or going through a nasty divorce, I now see God was never absent, I unfortunately distanced myself from Him after my mother died and tried for decades to feel numb by drinking too much, far too often. So, after I got “really sick” [from pneumonia] a few years ago, I felt God’s presence so strong – way stronger than as a child growing up going to church every week, through two things: 1) actively listening when I jam out to Christian songs to see what God is saying through the lyrics and 2) trying to reflect a fraction of the Light/Love God showers on me every day. I stole that concept from someone who said that if you want to decrease the chaos (entropy) in your life, you have to reflect God’s love. I would absolutely agree because lately the more I try to keep my eyes fixed on Him, the more I see the blessings upon blessings He showers me in. And if God can heal the brokenness in this prodigal son, I no longer doubt His power in any way. God is power but He is also love – and I am so fortunate to be surrounded by His love and His blessings, including your friendship 🙂